That was weird

Dear Wal-Mart Cashier,

I'd like to commend you on the first 30 seconds of our interaction. You did the polite thing and asked me if I found everything ok to which I politely responded 'Yes, thank you.' and proceeded to swipe my favorite plastic friend.

Come to think of it, why do you ask me at the register if I found everything ok? I don't know of one person that waits until they are checking out to say 'Gee, you know what, I was looking for these tie downs and couldn't seem to find them so I gave up. Could you show me?' Wouldn't they ask that WELL before they are ready to checkout? Interesting. . .

Anyway, back to our conversation. You really held it down for that first 30 seconds and for that, I extend my congratulations. That summer job is serving you well by teaching you courtesies and greetings that you'll be able to use for the rest of your life.

It's after that 30 seconds that things went terribly wrong, girl-I've-never-met. Since I'm feeling the slightest bit 'Shakespeare' today, I'll replay the scene for you, in play form, so you'll never forget. The part of the 'Patron' will be played by yours truly and the part of 'WMG' (short for Wal-Mart Girl) will be played by you.

Patron: swipes amazingly flexible piece of plastic through the card reader and begins inputting pin. No words are said as it's unnecessary at this point.

WMG: "I'm so confused."

Patron: now also confused, stares at WMG with what can only be seen as a look of disgust/desperation to get out of the conversation that is, quite probably coming. Still, no words are said.

WMG: "I feel like my friend just, like, knows my state of mind today and so he is really trying to confuse me."

Patron: still confused and now slightly annoyed, agitatedly waits for their receipt for the TWO items that were purchased. Thinks to themselves, 'What did I do wrong? Is this worth it?'

WMG: "So I like text him, 'love ya' and he writes back and was like 'no' so I sent a frowny face and he was like 'why?' and I was like 'huh?'"

Patron: grabbing the two items and forgoing the receipt as, at this point, it's a mere death trap. "Thanks."

WMG: yelling as the Patron bolts out the front door. "Oh my gosh, you're welcome! Have a great day!"

Do you see how awkward this scene is? For various reasons? First, you talk too much. Second, I was not remotely interested and you kept talking. Third, did you see the look on my face that I can only imagine was there? My guess is that you should have run screaming in the opposite direction because I probably looked like I may throw something at you. One thing I can say, you are brave WMG, very brave.

Best of luck at your new job!

Me